While the value of search and support groups is enormous to those contemplating or actively searching, telling your story to others after a reunion can be even more important. Telling one’s story is right at the heart of the search and reunion experience. Personally, just telling others my experience has had a tremendous healing effect on my own life.

The internet is a great place to connect with other Vietnamese adoptees during a search. Everyone was very helpful and supportive during my search. You really need to have multiple support groups during an active search. You need human contact in order to keep you from spinning out of control.

When I was searching, I enrolled into a course to learn Vietnamese. I highly recommend you do this before starting an active search. The weekly contact with Vietnamese people made all the difference. Please note that the class that I enrolled in actually had Vietnamese people in it who wanted to learn the Northern dialect or wanted to learn how to write Vietnamese better. There were others that just wanted an easy A to bring up their grade point average. My first day of class I expected to see a room filled predominantly with Americans who wanted to learn a foreign language. I didn’t expect to be one out of only two Americans in the entire class. My first response was to run out of the room and cry for help. Then I decided that I had already paid for my tuition and deserved to be there just like everyone else. If I was in the wrong level, I would make adjustments later. So I stayed and suddenly realized that I’d found my support group right under my nose. I had an incredible teacher and over thirty private tutors. Each of my classmates translated documents and actively helped in my search to find my birth family.

Another way to find a group support setting is to create your own. Find Vietnamese adoptees in your area and gather once a month to form a group to discuss and explore search options. Discussing fears associated with searching will give everyone an outlet.

There are millions of adopted people everywhere. They might not be Vietnamese or have similar circumstances but they are searching and many of them can provide support and insight on their search. Why not attend a support-group meeting? Sit in the back and just listen. If you want to continue to attend them maybe you might gain the confidence to participate. There are those who have reunited and some who are searching. There are adoptees, birthparents, and some adoptive parents that attend these meetings.

Look on the internet for specific support groups in your area. Remember you are not alone. There are people out there that can help you. Your adoptive family can also be an incredible area of support. Some adoptive parents have there own issues regarding having their adopted child search for their birth family. Respect that if this is the case but don’t let it prevent you from doing what you need to do.